Day: December 15, 2012

Our Tendency To See “Quiet, Intelligent, Socially Shy” As Problems, And Autism And Aspergers Syndrome As A Threat, All Of Which Is Untrue!

In the midst of the coverage about the young man, Adam Lanza, who murdered his mother, 20 children and six other adults in Newtown, Connecticut, with high powered weapons owned by his own mother, a lot of attention is being given to the fact that Adam is described as “quiet, intelligent, socially shy or backward, a loner” as personality traits that are troubling. And it has also been reported that he may have had “mental issues” such as Autism and Aspergers Syndrome, that may be factors in the violence that ensued.

This is totally preposterous, as being “quiet, intelligent, socially shy or backward, a loner” describes millions of people, both young and older, and it is somehow made out to be that if one is not the “life of the party, a social butterfly”, that something is wrong. So the aggressive, outspoken, braggart, boaster, bull artist, who often teases and bullies such “quiet, intelligent, socially shy or backward, loner” type people, is idolized as a model, because everyone wants to be “popular”!

And if someone has learning disabilities such as Autism and Aspergers Syndrome, which Adam Lanza may have had, it has ABSOLUTELY no effect on him behaviorally as a danger to others, as having such conditions is NOT mental illness, just an intellectual disorder!

And in the case of most mass murders or crimes, it is a person who is “perfectly normal” on the surface, who is “well liked and popular”, who does the dirty deed, but uses his charm and good looks and ability to bamboozle people, and to commit the crimes he perpetrates!

It is time that people stop stereotyping people by their being “quiet, intelligent, socially shy or backward, a loner”, as most will overcome such personality traits with growth, maturity, and building of confidence over time, and in many cases, such people end up as bigger successes in life than those who are the “life of the party” as adolescents or young adults.

One such person is this author, who was very different as a high school and college student, who blossomed as an adult, given time and patience.

And people with Autism or Aspergers Syndrome are not to be seen as dangerous, but instead as special young people who have a lot to offer, including friendship and sincerity, if only those who are the “life of the party”, and “popular”, would only give them half a chance, and stop being “braggarts, bullies, boasters, aggressive” in their behavior toward those not born as fortunate as they were.

My younger son is such a person, who is sweet, kind, decent, and has matured a great deal, and only wishes to be a friend of those, who in middle and high school, made fun of him. He is a happy man in his late 20s now. He is no threat to anyone, and never has been, and is a better person than any so called “popular, life of the party” type who needs to learn to tame his or her ego and treat others with dignity! He is a son his father and brother are extremely proud of, and would not exchange for some other young man who needs to learn how to treat his fellow human beings with respect!

Enough of stereotypes, and making the braggarts, the egotists, the bullies the show offs of society, as being normal!